“I just want to feel normal,” Kylie bluntly states in her confessional.
A Weekly Conversation: Entry 2
By Contributor Gordy Bravo
The season premiere of “Life of Kylie” might, in fact, have been based on the word “normal”. But if there is one idea this show wants you to understand, it’s that you don’t really know the real Kylie Jenner (yet).
Laughing in the face of people who think she has a perfect life, Kylie acknowledges that what she was born into isn’t exactly normal - go figure - but to her, the life she is accustomed to is her normal. The question we beg here, is it really her fault that she was born into the newfound “popular for being popular” media frenzy the media and fans/non-fans helped to created with her?
Because the limelight has been around Kylie since she was only 9 years old, she has created a character that she built an entire brand around and unfortunately, she admittedly ended up losing her true self in the process. With her guard down, Kylie explains how she feels like an outcast in the world and she can’t relate to anyone, except maybe her fans. And some might call a foul on that one: #richpeopleprobs
But due to her whole life and career being solely dependent on the fans and the media attitude of an ‘I need to know more’ basis, Kylie has taken on a burden of needing to stay relevant at every turn.
“Attention freaks me out. It reminds me that I’m Kylie Jenner.” Although, she also admits she did this to herself, the task she chose to live in such an oxymoron. It could all be overwhelming for any young woman; famous or not. But again, once you’ve made it big, it seems like to the outside world that you could quit at anytime and that all this is merely a choice that she is making.
Couldn’t it be the ego at play just a little bit Kylie?
Hitting the nail on the head in our last article regarding pop sensation Katy Perry in regaining her true self - Katherine Hudson - a main highlight of this episode was in Kylie’s therapy session describing wanting to regain the real her. She states that she has lost huge parts of herself and she wished she knew what normal feels like because her life is anything but. She even goes deeper and says her own defense mechanism is Kylie Jenner; she (Kylie) created her (the brand) so that whatever hate filled comments people have to say doesn’t hold as much weight in Kylie’s personal life.
But at the same time, it does, doesn’t it? otherwise she wouldn’t be trying to use this show to connect people to the real Kylie instead of the one they’ve come to know her as.
Another cry for help hits home when bold dialogue flashes across the screen: “I want to shut off the world,” “I just wanna run away.” Indeed, it seems like Kylie just wants to be like every other girl, but is she honestly able to at this point?
Sure, it’s possibly. Or maybe she'll have to wait for that in another life in respects to her own karmic choices.
The biggest take away from the first two back to back episodes that producers want you to see is that Kylie is a caring person at heart; where her emotional happiness comes from giving happiness to others.
For an example, a majority of the premiere was centered around taking a high schooler named, Albert Ochoa, to his prom because no girls wanted to go with him from his school. Hailing from my hometown of Sacramento, Albert was close to speechless when Kylie walked into the room and said she was going to his Prom with him. He looked dumbfounded in his tux in the most surreal and unreal way. This was totally not conventional for him, nor his normality.
When they arrived at prom fashionably late (due to unexpected plane issues) all eyes came onto the date. Kylie’s smile was infectiously happy as she walked in with her date and it didn’t seem to stem from the attention she gets every time she's in public. Even when the people crowded over them in excitement, you could see a minor glimpse of the real Kylie - the one that never got to enjoy the normal things like prom because of forcefully being homeschooled from her reality show upbringing - and knowingly, a part of her didn’t want to steal her dates thunder that she even mentions it out loud.
The real Kylie is under there somewhere.
You could clearly see that she was a little uncomfortable that she couldn’t necessarily even enjoy a “normal" night with a guy, or even a dance with him among the common people. They had to put up a barrier between her and the crowd by going up to the second level for privacy, because the crowd was clearly, too intense.
There seemed to be a clear division among her group and the crowd, or at least that is the depiction of the edited cut of the show.
By the end of the event you could see Kylie’s adjusted to the energy of the crowd, as her genuine happiness came through from giving another his happiness: the crowd was cheering “Albert, Albert, Albert” from below and there’s no doubt that he became, as they say, ‘the big man on campus’ of Rio Americano High School. Whatever wasn’t shown on camera, we hope that he fully enjoyed his once in a lifetime highschool experience to the absolute fullest!
Throughout the two episodes we catch glimpses of Kylie’s relationship with her BFF Jordyn Woods and how Jordyn sees, values and understands the real Kylie that we don’t seem to fully know. We get to observe Kylie being carefree with her best friend, even joining her (in Jordans ear) on a blind date that Kylie helped to set up.
Wearing a normal baggy hoodie and sweats while rolling down on a night trip to the beach in some Heelys, you see the two friends truly vibing off each others energy and harnessing the happiness that their friendship provides for each other daily.
However, most importantly, Kylie’s major source of happiness comes from the fans happiness. Otherwise she wouldn’t have built her own social empire as we have come to know it. The more she posts, the more interactive she is and in turn, the more her presence is acknowledge from them, the more that Kylie feels content. “Look this one got over 3 million likes”, pointing to a new upload to Instagram.
It seems that Kylie Jenner lives in a constant conundrum.
The more she gives of herself, the more the public has to criticize her for. But one of her greatest fears is that if she doesn’t give enough of herself to us, she wouldn’t find her true purpose. A double edge sword of sorts.
Many people struggle with the same emotional validation problems Kylie faces and in a way, doesn’t that make her feel slightly normal; relatable at the least. Forget all the money, branded lifestyle and the lavish complaints of not driving the white Lambo enough over the other, and ponder for a moment what an unfulfilling life it must be to always feel the need to provide an image for the pleasure of others on social media, instead of doing it only for yourself.
If you’re not doing the social media thing for yourself, who exactly are you doing it for? It is rather a sad revelation for us all, one that Kylie may or may not be beginning to see.
Kylie questions her life while simultaneously name dropping her sisters and close famous friends, about how they were created for this world, but she doesn’t think that she was. We did see a Kylie Jenner Production logo at the end of the episode, so maybe you were - kind of a little bit - made for this Kylie. Wouldn’t you say?
It will be interesting to see how this show edits for the audience with Kylie need to feel normal while she still seems to be living a separate life on her social media even today, weeks after the shows is recorded.
With brief mention of Kylie Cosmetics in this episode in its context, we also feel like we get to see a glimpse of the split between the branded Kylie and Kylie Jenner; the teenage girl that had the luck or as some would say, the curse, to be born into the Kardashian-Jenner family.
But in the end, there is always a choice one must make. And maybe she’s on the right track to making better ones. But at what cost does she find a risk from making better free will decisions: her money, her social image and maybe her family power? Maybe one day she too, she can live 'the simple life'.
Who is the real Kylie; an ego or the person behind it? Well, we’re waiting to find that out, too.
Tyler J. Drinnen, is the Founder and Editor in Chief of iTEM MAGAZINE,
a poet and freelance fashion writer, photographer and abstract visual content producer.
He holds a Bachelor of Arts in Communication and Media Studies from Sonoma State University, where he wrote a weekly Opinion Column For
The Star, dabbled with his own radio podcast format, titled Saturday Nite Scandal, and helped to create one of the first of 25 Professional Student Lead PR Firms in the USA.
From there on, he continued his work by interning with Sonoma Discoveries Magazine and then shortly after wrote and interned for Fashion School Daily, where he solidified his love for feature writing and working with emerging talents from around the world.
In December of 2016, he received an Honorary Master of Arts in Fashion Journalism from the Academy of Art University. And what an achievement that was, to be the first in his program to have graduated a full semester early. Bringing him to four degrees in a short five and a half years, nothing will stop him from bringing art to the eyes of many.
He has worked in the fashion industry for nearly a decade, from commercial retail management to corporate level ghost writing. Now - he the poet - T.J.D. takes his life public with the independent launch of the urban California lifestyle based fashion-art movement, iTEM MAGAZINE: A Platform For Rising Artists.